Think you’re in a toxic relationship that is emotionally/physically abusive? Here are the signs that it’s time to walk away.
You’re on a daily emotional roller coaster
One minute your significant other is loving and the next, punishing you for not doing things correctly. This is a major red flag. Manipulation plays a huge role in most abusive relationships. This constant emotional roller coaster ride of arguments and apologies is definitely unhealthy and a sign it’s time to walk away.
They isolate you
It’s one thing for your spouse to love spending quality time with you but when the person you’re with starts isolating you from family and friends, there’s a problem. It’s healthy for you to have relationships outside of the relationship with your significant other. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
Issues of jealousy
An emotionally abusive partner or spouse isn’t just jealous of the people you’re closest with but also your dreams and goals because they want to control all aspects of your life. A secure person doesn’t need to be jealous of the relationship you have with others because they trust you and the relationship you’ve created together.
Arguments tend to escalate, quickly
Occasional arguments are not uncommon in relationships, and are not always unhealthy but arguments in emotionally abusive relationships are. These arguments tend to escalate quickly and have no end point. Even day-to-day conversation can escalate to physical abuse, so beware.
You’re nervous around them
Abusive partners and spouses will use any tactic they can to keep you down, including threats of violence as a way to assert their dominance over you. If you feel any form of fear around the person you’re in a relationship with, it’s time to walk away.
You go out of your way to make them happy
Nothing’s wrong with wanting to keep your significant other happy but when you find yourself pleading for their happiness, there’s an issue. You may even find yourself staying silent even when you’re angry just to keep the peace.
You feel trapped
Helplessness is an ever-present emotion in emotionally toxic relationship. Often times, abusive partners will try controlling all aspects of your life, including personal items like your car and phone and what you do with your spare time. It you’re feeling trapped, it’s time to take the leap of faith and walk away.
You start believing you’re the problem
After all the arguments and put downs, you start believing that you’re not worth any more than the abuse. This is simply a manipulation tactic and a way to justify the abuse. You’re not crazy or the problem. You’re worth so much more.
Psychological abuse can look like:
Humiliating you in private/public.
Emotionally degrading you in private, but acting charming in public.
Afraid of your partner when he/she is angry.
Afraid to disagree with them.
You will be the one to say sorry even when it isn’t your fault.
Refusing to communicate.
Ignoring or excluding you.
Provocative behaviour with opposite sex.
Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
Saying “I love you but…”
Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
Domination and control.
Withdrawal of affection.
Making everything your fault.
Isolating you from friends and family.
Using money to control.
Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
Threatening to commit suicide if you leave.
Why I Didn’t Realize I Was In a Toxic Relationship?
If you see yourself in these words, know that there is little hope for your relationship to improve. It would take a monumental amount of insight and motivation for the abuser to change and unfortunately, this is rarely the case. If you are in a toxic relationship, I urge you to get out and with professional help if needed. Often the first step in leaving the abuser is obtaining counselling just to rebuild your esteem so that you can leave. I particularly want you to know that you may “love” this person, but that they do not “love” you or respect you. I assure you that in time you will get over this person if you break it off. You will be making the right decision … no looking back.
Hope this post helped you or your friends. Lots of love :heart: